All I ever wanted from you was for you to be who you truly are and own it. I wanted you to put your words into actions. To have some follow thru with the things you said you wanted to do and the person you said you wanted to be.
The old saying is true, actions do speak louder than words, but furthermore saying things and not doing them creates distrust and leads to disrespect.
I think the problem all along is that you were trying to be who you thought everyone else wanted you to be or who you thought you should be. It’s ok to just be you!
Imagine what a freeing experience it would be to just be who you are, no apologies necessary, just do it! I know it’s hard when you have people pushing you to be a certain way and you think that they are right, but in the end, you have to make you happy and be true to yourself or no one else will.
It’s about self respect. It’s about self appreciation. It’s about self ownership. Commitment to your own values and what drives you. Forget about the other people in the background, if they don’t support you or understand, they aren’t worth your time.
In the end, all you have is you. During those times when you are feeling all alone, are those people there? Do they comfort you in return for you being the person they wanted you to be? The quiet places of your mind won’t stay quiet for long if you are ignoring what makes you truly happy.
SO very true Kimm. Recently, I have finally started facing my demons and have stood up. I think the main reason people become chameleons is that there is always that strong concern of rejection. By standing up and being honest with myself, I have brought my circle of "friends" down to a mere few. This has been painful however liberating. I now see how much time, love, affection, respect, bottomless words and tears have been wasted. But on a better note, this has allowed me to focus on those who are appreciative of who I am and what I can bring to the table. My personal experience, as I am sure you can attest to,is that most can't handle the truth. Why honesty has been deemed as destructive, I will never begin to understand. We live in a needy society with very few willing to give back in return. "I need you to do this, I need you to act this way, I need you to stay quiet and put a smile on", all the while the pressure builds inside.
ReplyDeleteRespect, appreciation and honesty should be the foundation of ourselves and our relationships. Otherwise, what is the point? This shouldn't be too much to ask of ourselves or others and shouldn't be too difficult to give in return.
Well said Kimm. keep em' coming.
I agree... but this is just a first step. The first step is to finally be ok with who you are, and to become a solid entity that can stand on its own. The danger comes from thinking that this is the last step and getting stuck here.
ReplyDeleteNext comes the art and ability to connect with people on a meaningful level. To combine your energies and actions with others to create things that are greater than what you can achieve on your own. This is not a step backwards if you are a solid individual (as you described).
This moving forward step is very difficult. Because once you are your own person, you will no doubt, remember the wrongs, the broken trust, the pain of leaving yourself open to other people. This has made all of us hesitant, defensive, and unapproachable to some extend. So moving forward together becomes more difficult.
But as long as you have found solid ground to stand on, those connections to similar progressed individuals will find you and seek you out. Every step you take forward will make you more isolated and will most likely result in you leaving some group of people behind (as Crystal pointed out)... but together with likeminded people you will move forward and create and experience the energy and power that comes with this higher plane of existence.
When we become strong enough, we create. We will help the weak, instead of using them to bolster ourselves. And we seek out those who can help us discover the next step after that...