All I ever wanted from you was for you to be who you truly are and own it. I wanted you to put your words into actions. To have some follow thru with the things you said you wanted to do and the person you said you wanted to be.
The old saying is true, actions do speak louder than words, but furthermore saying things and not doing them creates distrust and leads to disrespect.
I think the problem all along is that you were trying to be who you thought everyone else wanted you to be or who you thought you should be. It’s ok to just be you!
Imagine what a freeing experience it would be to just be who you are, no apologies necessary, just do it! I know it’s hard when you have people pushing you to be a certain way and you think that they are right, but in the end, you have to make you happy and be true to yourself or no one else will.
It’s about self respect. It’s about self appreciation. It’s about self ownership. Commitment to your own values and what drives you. Forget about the other people in the background, if they don’t support you or understand, they aren’t worth your time.
In the end, all you have is you. During those times when you are feeling all alone, are those people there? Do they comfort you in return for you being the person they wanted you to be? The quiet places of your mind won’t stay quiet for long if you are ignoring what makes you truly happy.